Comments on: On our passions

By: abhaya

abhaya — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 03:48:08 +0000

for kadubu you dont need any training. if you prefer malenadu kadubu, drop in to my house any day of the week. i am trained by an expert- my mom-in-law.

By: chandrashines

chandrashines — Sun, 02 Apr 2006 13:27:19 +0000

Speaking of sanitized intellectual hothouses as opposed the hot house that kitchen is, dear Citizen Kane, wish we didn’t need Henri Jean-Levy to make our argument about how much work a housewife does. well, i won’t speak for desiknitter but i sure do embody the paternal in some form but i hope the maternal too would be part of me. anyway, wish you could also see the ‘lightened up’ part of the exchange.

kadubu may require some training in my mother’s kitchen but dosas and chitranna, desiknitter, that we shall do come this fall.

By: Citizen Kane

Citizen Kane — Sun, 02 Apr 2006 07:33:51 +0000

“broader gendered patterns of exploitative labour…”

“important to de-gender cultural codes of hospitality and high culinary aesthetics…”

to “guys” like desiknitter and chandrashines, who embody the paternal in some form, i have just two words: lighten up.

life time of work, drudgery, etc, are all convenient adjectives to use in a safe, sanitised intellectual hothouse, but they are assumptions that only reinforce the gender stereotypes.

it can be argued, as henri jean-levy argued three centuries ago, that a housewife works as hard as the one who goes to what we think is a real job, probably more so.

in assuming all that desiknitter does, we do such a woman a serious disservice by shooting from her already over-burdened shoulders.

By: desiknitter

desiknitter — Sun, 02 Apr 2006 05:16:24 +0000

Thanks for responding seriously, P. My comment wasn’t intended directly at you, as at all of us, myself included: my post also had a lot of nostalgia for my mum’s cooking, when I know for a fact that cooking was never her first or second or even third love, but still, I also think of invariably think of her as I try (in vain) to master my kitchen. I agree, I don’t want to reduce that memory to a scripted narrative of gender exploitation. I guess it was more of a question of whether such a de-gendered code of hospitality is at all possible while acknowledging its history, and if so, how? Starting to do one’s own dishes is definitely a start! Cooking some dosas and chitranna, or even better, kadubu, come fall sounds even better!

By: chandrashines

chandrashines — Sat, 01 Apr 2006 23:41:59 +0000

OK. That’s absolutely valid and the spanking is deserved. and i do want to take it in the right spirit. but may i also say, i remember my mother the most when i am in the kitchen, more than any other place. doing the chores in the kitchen, especially doing dishes, is still very appealing to me because i would do that every day with my mother; each time i wash dishes, i remember my mother. embodying the maternal in some form, internalizing that within me has always been an important part of who I am and want to remain. This doesn’t capture my mother entirely; she was a fabulous professor of Kannada literature, from what her students tell me and someone with extraordinary strengths and skills. i learnt all of that from her, (except cooking actually) in the kitchen. I agree with you entirely on the need to de-gender cultural codes and actually, the place I want to achieve that first and foremost, is in my person and in my kitchen.

By: desiknitter

desiknitter — Sat, 01 Apr 2006 22:47:22 +0000

I take your point about giving and refinement, but to take a contrarian position: how much of this ideal of giving and cooking for others is intricately tied up with the fact that it was always mothers who cooked, as *mothers*, and that this kind of “maternal” nurturing was frequently inseparable from broader gendered patterns of exploitative labour? I think it’s really important to de-gender cultural codes of hospitality and high culinary aesthetics (which are important to retain, I accept), because for too many women forced into a lifetime of work in the kitchen whether they liked it or not, it was often more drudgery than anything else, no?